Producer Char and I had a conversation about this topic in this episode of Radio Rehab.
The main gist of the episode is that 12 steps and 12 traditions can be used in every aspect of our lives--Especially when it comes to relationships. The greatest gift I got from working a 4th step was the ability to look at my part in things. I had this long list of resentments and people who I felt had in some way wronged me. Nothing is worse than being stuck in victim mode where you are powerless over things that are happening. I got to take my power back when I was able to look at the part I played in certain situations because MYSELF is the one thing I have the power to change. People, places and things are no longer my concern; just how I react to them.
Another part of that Episode conversation was toxic relationships in the recovery rooms. I understand that drama can happen. But I make a point to remove myself from those situations. I didn't come into recovery to reenact gnarly bar fights. Although drama does happen, your best bet is to straight up avoid people who always seem to be involved in gossip and fighting. A wise person once told me "stick with the women and stick with the winners." Meaning look for people who are working the kind of program you want to work. People who are transparent and who live by the principles. That, in my opinion, is the best way to avoid toxicity. Eventually you will run into drama regardless. Lucky for you, you'll have the steps and traditions in place and you'll know what to do.
I know this a short blog entry. I apologize for that, but my Seder plate awaits me.
You can hear Dayna's Radio Rehab Show on iTunes & Stitcher Radio: