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September 15, 2018

I like to say "continuous" because I'd have 20 years if I measured it starting when I first tried to get clean and sober. 24 years if I measured it starting from the first time my parents put me in rehab. In all honesty, I'm having a hard time feeling good about my 3 y...

May 3, 2018

I’m not saying that I discovered a way to escape the feelings - far from it. I just consumed enough drugs and alcohol to dull the senses of myself and 6 unborn children from the future. What that did, was store all of my pain into the active volcano that is my soul. Wh...

July 26, 2017

Otherwise, what's the point?

7 years ago I tried to end my life. The only reason I hadn't tried that before then was because I couldn't stomach the pain that my death would cause to my family. Before I judge someone like Chester Bennington for taking his life and leav...

June 22, 2017

How insane is that?

In this episode of Radio Rehab, my guest Co-Host David S. and I discuss what happens when things get good. And I mean really good. Like the kind of good that is unfamiliar and awkward. For me, when things get good, that's when I really need to get to...

May 23, 2017

and my silence will benefit no one.It's that simple.

I spent years simply taking up space on this planet; existing and sucking, not offering anything. I took a trip (many, actually) to the dark side and lived to tell the stories. I’m convinced the reason I lived through...

April 29, 2017

"Shit."

Until 2 nights ago, I hadn't had a using dream in so long that I'd forgotten they could even happen. The first 6 months of my sobriety were literally plagued by those bad boys. I would wake up with my jaw clenched and my heart pounding after having nightmares...

April 18, 2017

 Man, this is a tough one.

If I was working a solid program, and was therefore unaffected by the death of my dad, I'd have 17 years of sobriety right now. Can you imagine? I can't. Because I've never surpassed 3 years of continuous sobriety.

I'm inspired to write on th...